


Of Dreams and Memories

by ThatEreriGirl



Category: Ereri - Fandom, Riren - Fandom, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Amnesia, Dreams and Nightmares, Eren doesn't remember, Eren has cancer, Eren needs a hug, Feels, Fluff and Angst, Levi remembers, M/M, ereri
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-18
Updated: 2015-05-21
Packaged: 2018-03-31 03:56:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3963499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatEreriGirl/pseuds/ThatEreriGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren has always had dreams of soldiers, great soldiers rising up to save what was left of humanity, which were being exterminated by huge creatures called Titans. But more than often, they revolved mostly around a raven haired soldier who seemingly goes by the name of Levi. But what happens when Eren meets this man, and why in the world does he seem so familiar?<br/>Levi had been living his whole life with memories of the past, and he was going to find Eren. They made a promise and he wasn't going to break it. He feels complete once he finds the boy, only to be crushed that he doesn't remember anything about Levi, or their past life. Can Levi make him remember? What's more, can Levi make Eren fall in love with him again?<br/>Oh, and Eren's sickness is getting worse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Raven Haired Soldier

**Author's Note:**

> I will admit, I got quite the inspiration from a another story I read (can't remember what it was for the life of me 0,~,0) so if it seems like I'm copying him/her, I'm not. Also, the story seems discontinued, so just think of this one as the complete one XD  
> Anyway, I'm working on another big Ereri story, so you're probably thinking, wow girl, you're retarded for taking on another one. NO I'M NOT, DUN BE MEAN.  
> I really want to write this, and having two to work on keeps me busy :3  
> Anyway, read! Read on!  
> Kudos and comments always appreciated <3

Cold…

It was so cold…

So dark and cold… Eren lay, seemingly enveloped in darkness. Cold, cruel darkness. He felt as though something was beckoning him, as if a light was calling him back into the world…

“Eren… Please…” He heard a voice, not in a whisper but in a far, distant quiet tone. He wanted to ignore it, neglect the voice and let this darkness wash over him. But he couldn’t… For some reason his body refused to do so. He was tired, so tired…

“Eren!” The voice came louder this time. Who was it? Was someone calling him?

Eren opened his eyes, ever so slowly, the voice seeping into his dark conscious. Slowly, as if he had just entered a room in another place, the sound of rain and thunder boomed in his ears, deafening compared to the quiet he had in the depths of black nothing. He opened his eyes and took in his surroundings. It was pouring, and the rain seemed to pierce his skin, the thunder loud in his ears. He shivered at the cold air. He immediately wanted to go back to the tranquil feeling of the black state he was just in.

As Eren began to focus, all that was in front of him was grey. He squinted, trying to make out what it was, and realized it was Levi’s eyes. Levi… Eren focused on the raven haired man in front of him, and saw that his eyes were filled with something rather foreign to them: Panic. He had that stern look to his face, as always. Stiff jaw, the muscles in the back of his neck visible. But what gave away his distress were his wide eyes, desperately searching Eren for signs of life.

“Levi…” Eren whispered, trying to reassure the distressed man that he was alive. Levi’s entire body relaxed, and his eyes flooded with relief. The grip that was on Eren’s arms seemed to fade away, and Levi slouched back slightly.

“Eren, thank god…” Eren noticed that the man’s voice was weak and trembling. The blood on Levi’s cheek stood out against his pale, glowing skin. Or at least, it seemed to be glowing. As if he was an angel. An angel… It seemed only fitting, and even reassuring. Levi, his Levi, the first thing he wakes up to… It would’ve brought a warm smile to Eren’s face. That is, if he didn’t feel so tired.

Eren slowly lifted his arm up, ignoring the pain that shot through his arm into and throughout his body, like poison. He touched Levi’s face, his thumb wiping away the blood on his cheek. Levi leaned into the touch, eyes closed, before he jerked and put it down again.

“Don’t move, you’ll make your wounds worse,” he said in a rather firm voice, the opposite of the weak and trembling voice he just had. The mention of his wounds brought him further into reality. More pain seemed to come back as he thought about his wounds, and the metal tang of blood showed itself in Eren’s mouth. Eren felt as though he just got a thousand times more tired, and he realized in what danger he was truly in. The pain in his legs, stomach, ribs, and arms clawed its way into Eren’s conscious, and he decided that he had to accept his fate.

He was going to die.

He had used too much energy, too much power. His life shortened under his time as a Titan, and this time, he had foolishly gone on a mad rampage. He remembered seeing Mikasa’s concerned and wide eyed expression before she got eaten. That’s right… Mikasa was killed. Eren remembered that feeling of absolute rage and fire spread throughout his body. He remembered going on a blind rampage, killing every Titan in sight, and using up all his energy. He went to his limit. Like a car. He used all his gas, and now, he couldn’t go anywhere. He could only accept his fate, or hope someone would come rescue him from it.

Now, he felt none of that fire. None of that rage to feed his body, none of that horror to bring his body back into play. He felt as though any trace of adrenaline leaped out of his body, leaving him. Coming to the realization of his seemingly chosen destiny, the pain of his wounds seemed to disappear, and his body slowly went numb. He fell back into his peaceful, tranquil feeling, his eyes wanting to close desperately. At least he had helped… There were Titans all around, dead, some already piles of ashes. He had wiped out almost all of them. Levi seemed to notice his defeat, and his grip on Eren’s arm tightened again, his gaze going firm. He looked at Eren intently.

“Eren, don’t you dare give up now. You are humanity’s last hope, they still need you,” he said, his voice quiet but firm. Eren shook his head, and immediately stopped when his neck erupted into pain.

“No,” he croaked, his voice starting to fail, “Besides… They’re all wiped out now.” Eren pointed out, attempting to smile. He thought he did, but if this was the case, Levi showed no sign of acknowledging it. Instead, desperation started seeping into his eyes.

“They may not need you, but I do Eren,” he said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. His voice was not soft, nor firm. Eren’s body seemed to warm at that, and he would have laughed if he was not on his way to death’s gates. It was certainly rare for Levi to be so honest with him, and his obvious desperation only further reminded Eren that he was dying. He wished there was something he could do to reverse this, but he knew it was not possible. He knew that this was his fate, how horrible it may seem. Death was his fate, and Eren had already come to accept it. It was shocking that Levi was not. Death always seemed to be a part of him. When his squad died, he had shown no remorse, but Eren knew the grief he felt. The fear he was showing now over Eren only made him realize how much he meant to the raven haired man, and this made his heart swell. If only he could stay alive to keep it that way.

“I’m sorry…” Eren whispered. His apology only served as another sign of surrendering, and this made Levi’s eyes light with anger, for but only a second.

“Don’t you dare fucking apologize to me you brat, you aren’t dying right now and that is an order!” Levi shouted angrily. But his eyes gave him away, as they were brimmed with anguish and terror. Eren wanted to smile again, but his body refused to do so.

“I love you,” Eren said quietly, but firm all at once. He laced his fingers with Levi’s, and repeated himself.

“I love you…” he whispered it this time. He’s told Levi this so many times, but he needed to be reminded. Levi’s face was down, his bangs covering his face and casting a shadow over his eyes. Eren couldn’t tell if that was rain or tears streaking down his face, but either way, he lifted his arm once more to wipe his thumb along Levi’s cheekbone. His chest ache with guilt, and with the feeling of his own loss. He’d no longer be in a world with Levi.

“Please don’t cry,” Eren said, his voice almost cracking, “Don’t make it harder for me to leave you.” Levi grit his teeth, his eyes tightly shut.

“This is my fault,” he said angrily to himself, “I’m sorry… I’m sorry, I’m sorry Eren, this is my fault god damn it!” Levi’s voice got increasingly louder, filled with frustration and anguish. Eren tried to shush him, but he continued.

“All my fault! I was supposed to protect you, me! You were under my watch. My care, and I failed you!” Levi shouted, his voice cracking near the end. His face was no longer shadowed. It was held high, his teeth clenched in the effort of trying not to cry. His eyes were wide and his pupils shook, filled with such utter desperation and sadness that it hurt. Eren’s heart twisted at the sight of tears shining in Levi’s eyes.

“Please, I beg of you, don’t leave me,” Levi whispered this time, his voice filled with grief and desperation. Eren felt his chest ache at the plea. This wasn’t like Levi… For him to show this kind of emotion… It was truly something different. Eren’s vision started filling with blackness. He didn’t have much time left.

“Levi listen to me…” Eren whispered. Levi didn’t continue speaking, and he softly placed his head on Eren’s chest. He felt a different kind of wetness soak through his shirt. Tears.

“Remember the promise?” Eren’s voice was barely above a whisper, and Levi had to lean near his face to ear. Eren tried to smile again, but this time, he knew it turned out as a grimace.

“Remember what we said? We promised… That… We’d meet again, in another life… We’d find each other,” Eren whispered, “We’ll meet again… We’ll find each other. Promise…” Levi slumped in defeat and his eyes softened. He leaned forward and cupped his lovers face with one hand. He brushed his lips against the younger boy’s.

“Promise…” he whispered in reply.

That was the last word Eren heard before the he surrendered to the darkness.

* * *

Eren sat jolted upright in his bed, his face beaded with sweat, heart pounding. He gulped greedily for the air, and he heard his heartbeat through his ears. He felt like he had just run a marathon. Eren sat in his bed, giving himself a moment to catch his breath, taking deep breaths, willing his beating heart to slow down. The dreams slowly started to fade away, and he scanned the room, taking in the familiarity of his room, trying to push any fading images of the dream out of his head. Once he reassured himself that he was no longer dreaming, he laid back down and sank into his bed. He closed his eyes and continued trying to steady his breaths.

Just a dream, just a dream…

He opened his eyes once his heart resided to its usual pace, and he sat back up, his hand over his head. He swung his legs over to the side of the bed, the warmth of the blanket leaving his bare legs, exposing them to the cold morning air. He rubbed his face and stood, his feet sliding into his slippers. He sighed and walked over to the window, and he opened the shutter slightly, looking at the city below.

The dreams weren’t anything new… They were quite often, and started when he was 12. The first time was with that grey eyed man. As they began to come frequently, he’d see people he already knew, such as his sister, Mikasa, or his best friend, Armin. He even had a dream where his mother died, and his father had abandoned him. He remembered running to his parents’ room to make sure they were both still there, alive. He had nearly passed out from relief when he found them both peacefully sleeping in their usual spots on the bed they shared. But he saw that grey eyed man in his dream almost all the time. He was the most frequent character he saw, yet, Eren never recalled meeting him. Still, there was some familiarity to the man, and it always bothered him… To this day Eren would wake up, wondering who the man was in his dreams, and why he appeared so often. His dreams revolved around that one man, that raven haired soldier, and Eren truly didn’t understand as to why.

Eren never told anyone about his dream except for his sister and Armin. The two people he trusted most. He was afraid of being dismissed as crazy, and he hated it when people told him that they were just dreams,just as his parents said. They weren’t ‘just dreams,’ and somehow, Eren knew this for certain. For years he’s had them. But Mikasa and Armin would never do that to him. They always listened to his needless ranting, and never looked at him as if he may be crazy. They would comfort him after a particularly gruesome dream, and would reassure him that everything was ok. That humanity was in its right place. The dreams were sometimes so vivid that Eren couldn’t even tell reality from a sleeping thought until he was fully awake. Sometimes, he would wander aimlessly around in his room in a dazed stupor, wondering what was real and what wasn’t. Who was dead and who wasn’t.

Eren would wake up, the taste of blood still in his mouth, and the warmth of touch lingering on his arm. They felt so important, no matter how many times Eren tried to tell himself that they were meaningless. Armin even once joked with him, saying that maybe, they were memories from his past life. Eren immediately dismissed it, despite being slightly intrigued. He was almost ashamed for even having a fleeting thought about them being from his past life. When he was younger, his mother always told him that he would tell stories of his imagination, in which all consisted of big giants causing disharmony to humanity, and heroes arising to save them and protect what was left of the human race. Maybe those stories stuck with him, so they always came into play in his dreams.

He shook his head, pushing any thought of his dreams to the back of his head. Today, Mikasa and Armin were visiting from their own homes. Mikasa had gone to a university in San Francisco, and Armin went off to a university in Arizona. They weren’t TOO far, but far enough. Eren was in charge of providing what they needed, as they were, after all, staying for about a week or so. Maybe longer. They were on spring break, and they all decided they’d see each other again.

Eren groaned. Now that he was back in reality, he realized that he had a splitting headache. He had always gotten migraines, for as long as he could remember, and Mikasa insisted that he went to a doctor. She had protested that he shouldn’t be getting migraines so often, and feared there was something wrong with him. Eren just dismissed it, both Mikasa’s plea to go get checked, and the migraines themselves. But sometimes, they were quite bad. They were almost unbearable at times, and Eren found that Advil really did help, despite being a rather crappy pain killer.

Eren shuffled over to his bathroom and swung open his cabinet door. He searched for the Advil, his hands knocking over a few other bottles of medicine. When he found it, he popped two pills into his mouth and gulped them down with the cold faucet water. He stood with his eyes closed for a second, willing the medicine to kick in. He stood for five minutes, before the pain slowly started to subside, and his head no longer seemed to throb. He took a deep breath and started his shower. There was no way he was getting through his day without one.

He took off his clothes, almost freezing to death from the morning air. He forgot to turn on his damn heater again. He grabbed his towel and dashed into the shower, the warm water welcoming him with open arms. The moment it touched his skin, Eren left out a sigh of pleasure as the water streamed down his arms, defrosting him. Eren felt the cold seep from his skin, the warmth of the water substituting it. He stood under the running water for a bit, letting the drops massage his head. After standing under it for a few minutes and finally started washing. He didn’t want to turn the water off when he finished. He let out a groan when he turned the water off, the cold morning air taking its spot on his body again. He grabbed his towel and dried off, wrapping it around himself like a blanket when he got out. He turned his heater on and proceeded to go through his usual morning routine.

Eren, alas ready, wrapped his scarf around his neck, covering his mouth and nose. He grabbed his keys, phone, and his wallet. He was headed off to the grocery store to pick up some stuff for food and maybe some movies. His keys rattled as he unlocked his stubborn door, and when it swung open, the cold winter air smashed itself against Eren’s face. Eren shivered before walking out. He shut the door behind him and locked it, shoving the keys back into his pocket. He slipped his gloves on and stuck them into his jacket pockets. Taking a deep breath, he stepped out and started walking to the grocery-which was only about a ten minute walk away-the snow crunching underneath his shoes.


	2. Have We Met Somewhere Before?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi's POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY! The rest of the story becomes mine to take over :3 (yes, I took some from the story, but that's all there was, so think of it as I'm just continuing it XD)  
> Yesh, things are gonna get fun!  
> Ok, while you read, I'm gonna go update The Prince and the Guide now XD Ba bai!  
> And, like, can I somehow dedicate this to that person? But I don't even know who I'm dedicating it to, I don't even know their real name 0,~,0

Levi walked warily through the crowd, every step draining energy out of his body. The icy November wind bit his face, forcing him to put the green, knit scarf around his neck up to his face (a gift from Hanji) covering his nose and mouth. He shoved his glove covered hands into his pockets. The wind kept hitting his face, making his eyes water, causing him to put his head down and trudge against the icy wind.

Everyone swarmed around him like ants, some of their shoulders brushing his, making him shrink further into his scarf, trying to disappear completely. He hated it when other people (especially strangers) touched him, and tried to avoid the contact all together. It made him shiver in disgust. Levi was never the one to socialize in the first place. He felt it unnecessary to listen to people’s needless rants and conversations. They were a waste of time. In fact, right now, he was on lunch break, making his way towards his favorite coffee shop/bookshop, trying to avoid his coworkers Hanji and Mike. He thought he was going to be able to endure the cold, but apparently, he was wrong, and was now wishing he hadn’t done so. But it was too late to turn back. There was no way he could deal with Mike and Hanji right now. Despite them being his friends in high school, they were quite unbearable and obnoxious, and there was no way Levi was going to bear with them right now. Mike wasn’t all that bad, but he was quiet and didn’t say anything. Hanji was the problem. There was no way Levi could deal with her loud presence. Not only that, but Levi knew she’d be able to read him perfectly.

All day he had been yearning to get himself a cup of coffee and sit in the comforting warmth of the coffee shop, and perhaps even get a book while he was there. He always went to Little Brooks, (the coffee shop name) as it had his two favorite things in one: Coffee and books. Perfect paradise for Levi. Much more so than dealing with Hanji and her “therapeutic” sessions.

Levi was exhausted. He made a big mistake thinking that he’d be able to get sleep last night. He always had insomnia due to his frequent nightmares. As a child, he never slept to avoid the nightmares. Soon it became a habit and it became nearly impossible to sleep. Sometimes he would let himself surrender to the nightmares, but as soon as he woke up with no air in his lungs and a scream lodged into his throat, he never knew why he’d even consider being able to get peaceful sleep again. But every once in a while, he had a peaceful night. Levi would wake up with remnants of a smile on his face, the echoing sound of laughter and harmonic voices slowly fading away, leaving him with a rather elated feeling. But some of the sweet dreams he had were just as painful as his nightmares. Rarely do peaceful dreams come two nights in a row, but this time, they did. So Levi finally let his guard down, and boy, was he wrong to do so. He dreamt of Eren, which all in all, wasn’t new to Levi in the slightest. Most of his dreams consisted of the green eyes boy. But instead of the rather blackness that Levi’s nightmares carried, these dreams brought along a rather warm and peaceful feeling. He usually had dreams of small moments that they had together. Whether it was Eren’s soft and warm smile when he picked a flower out of the boy’s hair, or the sound of Eren humming and playing with Levi’s hair while he lay his head on Eren’s lap. But as many people tend to say, where there is beauty, there’s pain, malice. Levi always woke up with the pain of being cold and alone. He was left with a pounding heart, and an excruciating pain emptiness in his chest. He felt it in every way possible. The cold and empty space right beside him, the way Eren’s touches seemed to burn into his skin, the fact that he had no remnants of Eren yet it remained in his memory so clearly. It was the aching hollowness that always kept him from sleep at night. He tossed and turned in bead, before he finally gave up and just stared, dazed, at his ceiling, reflecting on his past life.

Oh, Levi knew. He knew that these weren’t just dreams. They were memories from a past life, a life that Levi lived so long ago, yet, everything was still so vivid in his mind. It was a dark period of time, where what was left of humanity lived in fear of these terrifying beasts. Levi had been a soldier in that world, and even had a given title name: humanity’s strongest. It was a label he kept his whole life, even after the Titans were defeated and wiped out. He had been living with these memories his whole life, and never once did he believe that these dreams were just figments of his imagination coming into play as he slept. He knew what they were. Although his past was completely separate from his life now, people from them remained with him today. He’s already met some people of his past life, such as Mike and Hanji, and his college friend and boss, Erwin. All people who used to fight besides him. The circumstances definitely changed, but their personalities had not. Unfortunately, their memories did not remain. Even though Levi had the people form his memories, he still felt alone, even in the company of his closest friends. He observed the people in his current life and just couldn’t connect with them. He felt like a puzzle piece but in the wrong box. Sometimes he would bring up a memory from a thousand years ago and he would have to stop himself. He couldn’t help but stay stuck in the past. He knew that he had to let go the past of his life to fully enjoy his current one, but how could he? How could he just let something like that go? How could he just abandon his past and start living in his current one?

He knew the answer to that. Because what was missing remained in his dreams.

Eren.

He had almost everyone in his past life except for Eren.

Eren. His Eren, the one and utmost important thing he needed in his life, missing. In a world full of death and darkness, they managed to fall in love. Although it was one if the biggest risks to take on the battlefield, Levi just couldn’t prevent himself from falling in love with Eren. And god did he fall hard. Nothing in his life prepared him for that. He spent almost his entire past life relying on himself, never having to owe anyone. Until he met headstrong stubborn Eren Jaeger. Eren, who came barging into his life like a raging typhoon. Eren who showed the deepest respect and kindness towards Levi and expected nothing in return. Eren whose passion and will to live saved Levi’s life countless times. They bonded at first due to their goal, and it eventually turned into never ending trust. But the steel faith they had in each other became something more complex. Something dangerous. Levi tried everything in him to not fall for him because if he did, he would have to be the one to kill him if he ever went out of control. Levi knew that, yet, he couldn’t stop himself. Even now, he was still trying to decide whether or not he regretted making that decision of loving Eren. He wished he could say something optimistic and say that there are no wrong choices when it comes to love, but he would be lying. He wished it was that easy.

Throughout his whole life, he had been searching for Eren. At first, he didn’t even realize it. The dreams about Eren started around middle school. At first he didn’t understand why his heart raced every time he saw someone with dark brown hair and sun kissed skin, or why he immediately felt unexplainably nostalgic every time his eyes landed on emerald eyes. He didn’t explain to himself why he felt so disappointed after he realized those eyes didn’t belong to that certain person, or why he felt so empty and out of place and he just couldn’t shake off the feeling that something was just wrong. But as his memories became clearer he realized it was because he was searching for Eren the whole time. He remembered the promise they made thousands of years ago. Why wasn’t it fulfilled yet? Why must he continue to wait? Why can’t he move on? He had met almost everyone from his past life, where was the one person who was most important to him? The one who specifically made him keep the promise?

Levi more than often wished that he never had his memories. He was tired of waiting for Eren, tired of longing for him. He was tired of waking up with a hollow feeling in his chest that only Eren could fill. Yet he clung so desperately to the memories, afraid that if he ever let him go, the chance that Eren being in the same world would be gone. That beautiful smile and passionate emerald eyes were carved into his memory, and he would never let that go away.

But Levi wasn’t an idealistic person. Eren could be all the way across the world for all he knew, far, far away from him. Or maybe he wasn’t even reincarnated yet. That filled Levi with absolute dread. He tried to avoid it as much as possible, but the possibility always filled his mind.

But then again, Levi knew that he’d find Eren. Eren always kept his promises, even if they are from something so long ago. He had this gut feeling that he would, whether be it in yet another life, he would. Levi wasn’t going to take the chances and give up on Eren. It wasn’t exactly the fact that he wouldn’t, but more along the lines of, he couldn’t.

Levi told Erwin and Hanji about Eren and them being from his past life. And surprisingly enough, the both believed him. This brought so much relief to Levi, and he didn’t feel so alone anymore. He remembered Hanji once telling him how when she first met him she felt like she had met him before. When she said the words Levi felt inexplicably happy and most of all relieved.

Levi lifted his gaze from the ground, some of the weight lifted off of shoulders at the sight of Little Brooks across the street. Rushing his steps a bit more, he rushed to the corner of the street, his steps stuttering slightly when he felt his phone vibrate. He continued to walk and took the phone out of his pocket, frowning deeply at the name that appeared on the screen. Levi sighed sharply and unlocked his phone, lifting it up to his ear.

“What is it Hanji?” Levi asked monotonously. He was now waiting at the crosswalk, waiting for all the cars to pass. He tapped his foot on the pavement impatiently.

 _ **“Levi!** Why did you abandon us?!”_ Hanji screeched so loudly that Levi winced and dragged the phone away from his ear. He rolled his eyes.

“Can you not? I can hear you perfectly fucking fine.”

 _“Oops, sorry,”_ Hanji apologized with no remorse, _“So where are you?”_

“I’m stopping by Little Brooks today.”

_“You should’ve asked me and Mike to go with you!”_

“I don’t’ feel like dealing with you two little shits today. More like I don’t feel like dealing with you.” Levi knew Hanji well enough to know that she wouldn’t take it to heart.

 _“Yah, yah Grumpy Gills, someone’s angry today. Angrier than usual at least. You need to take a swim?”_ Levi glared ahead. When was the fucking cross light going to turn green?

“Hanji, I am not in the mood for your retarded Disney references right now.” Hanji gasped.

_“But Levi! This is-“_

“I really don’t give one flying shit four eyes.” Levi interrupted her.

 _“Ok, ok, I get it. But seriously Levi,”_ Hanji’s voice became soft, and Levi repressed the urge to groan. Here she was going again, with her “therapeutic voice, _“Is everything alright?”_ Levi’s gaze casted downward. Even if he refused her help, Hanji would help him no matter what he said. That was the kind of person she was, and Levi was grateful for that, even if he rarely showed it. She always saw past his disinterested facade.

“Yeah,” Levi answered quietly, not sure if she could hear him with all of the city noises blocking him out. He cleared his throat. “I don’t really feel like talking about it now.” Finally the light turned green and Levi began to walk across the street.

_“Of course. I was thinking about it, and I think you should see a doctor. Your dreams are basically memories, they’re kind of like post-traumatic stress disorder right?”_

“Oh, right, let me just tell the shrink how I used to slay giants to save humanity. He’d send me to a mental hospital if I told him that.”

 _“Okay, that’s true. But there are still other unconventional methods of getting rid of nightmares, such as-”_ Levi immediately tuned her out. It became easy throughout his life, as he knew she wouldn’t shut up for a while now. Once on a science rant, there was no stopping her, so he wondered if he just hang up now. When the coffee shop came into sigh through the sea of people also crossing, he let out a breath of relief. He could already taste that warm coffee, and couldn’t wait to go inside.

A shoulder bumped into him and he stumbled a bit, causing his slightly uplifted mood to disperse completely. He lifted his gaze from the ground, ready to give the person a death glare and teach him or her some manners. His eyes met the person next to him and when silver met turquoise, any traces of malice in him completely vanished. His eyes widened in shock. His breath quickly left his body and his lips parted in disbelief.

_Oh my god, it’s him._

He slowed down his steps to get a better look at the boy. The boy also slightly paused to look at him, which only served to make the moment feel even more real. Time seemed to go in slow motion as they passed each other. Everything ceased to a halt. The noises from traffic came to a stop and the sea of people pushing past him didn’t exist. All he could hear was his heart pounding in his chest, and all he could see was Eren. It couldn’t possibly be a dream. It wasn’t like the countless times where Levi would mistake the back of a stranger for Eren. This was the actual Eren Jaeger, his Eren, walking past him. This was actually happening. Eren. But as quickly as the moment had started, it ended. Time seemed to resume again, the noise from the cars filled his ears and sounded louder than ever, and he quickly found it hard to stand in place as the ocean people tried to walk around him. But unlike Levi, the boy kept walking.

 _“-vi?”_ Levi was suddenly aware of the voice still in his ear.

_“Levi?”_

“Gotta go.” he said simply. Before he could hear her response he hung up and shoved his phone in his pocket. The boy continued to walk past him, but Levi knew. He was never so sure of himself before. The hair, his stature, his skin, and even if he saw them for a second, he could recognize those eyes anywhere... He had to do something. Anything. He couldn’t just let that chance go, he would be letting the love of his life go but why couldn’t he move? Why weren’t his legs working? Why couldn’t he turn around? He was afraid of it being another mistake, afraid of becoming disappointed again. He didn’t know what he would do if it wasn’t Eren. Before he could chicken out Levi quickly turned around and felt his heart stop in his chest when he realized the boy had stopped too, and he was looking straight at him. Levi felt himself fall in love all over again. His heart pounded so hard in his chest he felt his head spin. Levi could see the mix of acknowledgement and bewilderment in his eyes, and Levi felt his chest soar. The boy’s eyebrows furrowed as he tried to take in the sight in front of him.

Yes, it’s me Levi. We can finally be happy. Our promise can finally be fulfilled.

Levi thought his heart would burst out of his chest when Eren walked towards him, uncertainty and a mix of other emotions displayed in his eyes. He loved that about Eren, how all of his emotions could easily be displayed through his eyes. Levi started to remember all the small things about Eren from the freckle on his collarbone to the way his nose slightly wrinkled when he laughed. He was going to see it all again. He couldn’t believe this was happening.

It wasn’t a dream, right? Say something! Before he could even think of something to say he opened his mouth anyway, but whatever he was about to say was interrupted by an obnoxious car horn.

Shit. The moment was immediately ruined and Levi quickly realized that he and Eren were the only people still left in the street. After shooting a dirty glance to the driver, he quickly headed towards the sidewalk. Happiness and adrenaline quickly filled his veins again once he reached the sidewalk. He had to suppress the urge to smile like a fool. Eren was there-with him-and it wasn’t a dream. It wasn’t a mistake. It just had to be real, it would be too cruel if it wasn’t. Levi quickly turned around to see if Eren was still there, and was relieved to see that he was. Levi felt his heart race at the look in Eren’s face. It was completely filled with wonder, as if Levi was something he had never seen before. He almost wanted to kiss him right there, just to fill his desire and to see if he was truly real. But he figured there would be time for that later. There was so much he wanted to say, so much he wanted to do, yet he couldn't do anything at all other than just gawk at the sight in front of him.

But the moment was quickly getting awkward and Levi searched for something to say. He didn’t talk much but he often knew what to say, and he was waiting for this moment his whole life and dammit- why can’t he think of anything? But Eren spoke before he did. Suddenly everything was in slow motion again as Eren was about to move his lips, taking in a breath to say something. What was he going to say, what were going to be his first words? He could see his lips moving and his breath unfurl into the cold winter air, but he couldn’t hear anything. Soon his mind caught up with Eren’s voice.

“Have we met somewhere before?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you get, did you get it? :3 My Disney reference? X3


	3. A Maze of Twists and Turns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren doesn't remember Levi.

The world stopped again. This time, it was frozen. Frozen in an empty, cold, time space. Eren… He… He didn’t remember him?

Levi opened his mouth and then shut it. He didn’t trust himself to say the right thing.

Eren didn’t remember him.

This hit Levi like nothing ever has. He felt like someone came over and just punched his face right into the reality of it all. Levi could only stare stupidly, unaware of his current dazed state. He opened his mouth again, taking a breath to say something, but still couldn’t. Eren looked at him, concern swimming in those green pools of his.

“Er… Are you alright?” he asked, his voice laced with confusion and worry. Levi couldn’t gather his senses, he barely even heard what Eren said. How could Eren not remember him? Levi remembered Eren, so why couldn’t the young boy remember him?

Eren frowned. Now he was concerned.

“Sir? Are you alright?” he repeated himself. Levi just looked at him with a rather dumbstruck face. This couldn’t be happening. Eren just had to remember him. He had to.

“I…” Levi began. He still didn’t trust himself to say the right thing, but if he didn’t speak now, the boy would probably call the ambulance on him.

“You… Don’t know who I am?”

Wrong thing to say.

The boy furrowed his brows on thought.

“It’s funny. I feel like I have seen you before but… No. I don’t know who you are,” Eren replied.

Lev felt crushed at those words. He felt as though the whole world just came crashing down. Here was Eren, his Eren, and he didn’t even remember him. After all this time, after waking up countless times with a cold, empty space beside him, with cavities in his heart that this boy could only fill, after being in such a state of longing, and Levi is just crushed by it all to find that he did not remember him. Levi almost felt angry at the world. That is, if he didn’t feel so dead inside. He felt like that fire that he ever kept going, for Eren, went out. It was blown out by the cold, harsh reality that his one and only in this world didn’t remember him.

Levi cast his gaze downward, shadowing his face and eyes.

“Oh.”

That was it. That was all he could say. He couldn’t say anymore, he just felt too numb inside. He felt like that longing in his heart just grew stronger. He thought it’d disappear completely, that the cavities would be filled alas, but he hadn’t even thought of the circumstances that Eren wouldn’t remember him. Even though Eren was right besides Levi, as he’s always dreamed of, he feels like it has just made his yearning for his love back even worse. Eren’s gaze softened when he noticed Levi’s rather unresponsive state.

“Do you know me?” he asked, causing Levi’s gaze to snap upwards. Was it possible that Eren did have some clue as to who he was? Levi wanted to eagerly nod, like a kid asking for ice cream, and tell him that he was Eren Jaeger, his boyfriend, and that they were madly in love. Eren sensed his urgent vibe and took an uncertain step back. Levi tried to relax. Take things slow.

“I… Yes, you could say I know you. Your name is Eren. Am I correct?” Levi replied, his confidence slowly seeping back in, lighting his fire back up. Shock hit Eren’s eyes like lightning, and he nodded, taken aback.

“Y-yah… How did you know that?”

Crap. How was he supposed to answer that?

Oh, well, I was your captain a thousand years ago, and you were my soldier, and then we fell in love. Soldier for what you say? Oh why, fighting off the Titans! You know, those big, hideous monster looking things? Yah, they ate humans, so we had to fight them off, and we fought together.

Oh yah, that would go swimmingly.

Levi let out a quiet sigh, his breath visible in the cold winter air.

“You know, if I told you the truth, you probably wouldn’t believe me. Let’s just say that I’ve known you for a while now. That’s all you need to know,” Levi replied warily. His wanting to be under the warmth of the coffee shop suddenly came back, stronger than ever. He suddenly felt as though all the weight was back on his shoulders again, causing his cold feet to ache and his stomach to twist in an unpleasant way. Eren cocked his head sideways.

“It makes me concerned. Why wouldn’t I believe you? Do you stalk me?” Eren asked suspiciously. Levi glared at him this time.

“No, I don’t,” he snapped. Eren’s eyes widened and he took a step back. Levi bit his lip and turned away.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap,” he apologized quietly, “But… You really don’t remember me?” Eren shook his head, and he even looked saddened by the unfortunate circumstance.

“No… I’m sorry, I don’t… I wish I could say I do remember you, because you seem so familiar but… I don’t know. Perhaps we’ve crossed paths before.” Levi repressed the urge to shout out the boy, tell him that they have. Instead, Levi only rubbed the cold from his face, trying to get some warmth into his frozen face.

“Uh… Well… Perhaps we’ll see each other again…”

“Levi.”

“Levi. Where are you headed anyway? Or, where do you work?” Levi almost laughed at the words. He was still the same brat, sticking his nose where it didn’t belong.

“Just around the block. At Maria’s Supplies,” Levi responded with ease. Eren’s eyes brightened.

“Really? My mom always went to get her art supplies there! She always talks great things about that shop,” Eren mused. Levi almost rolled his eyes. Yah, he definitely hasn’t changed.

“Wonderful. I needed to know that,” Levi responded, turning back. There was no way he was going to let this ruin his chance with coffee. Besides, “knowing” Eren, he’d just follow.

Boy was he correct.

Eren stepped right by his side and continued talking.

“Perhaps I could take a visit there? I need to get stuff for my friends when they come over, we’re going to do a little artsy stuff for the kids in The Valley,” Eren continued, “One of my friends, Armin, is a great artist. He suggested we did it, so I agreed. They’re coming over this week.” Levi looked at Eren with a rather cocky face. Eren didn’t “know who he was.” Should he really be telling all of this to him? Perhaps he has changed a little… Soldier Eren wasn’t so talkative. Funny how it worked, Levi actually enjoyed his rattle, whereas he couldn’t stand Hanji’s.

Eren turned pink in realization.

“I probably shouldn’t even be telling you this, should I?” Levi scoffed and looked forward again. Brat.

“Probably not. But it isn’t like I could do anything with it anyway,” Levi responded. Eren smiled. Levi caught it in his peripheral vison, and he his heart twisted in an unbearable way. There was that smile. That beautiful, perfect smile. Levi finally witnessed it, and not in a dream. Eren was standing right there, smiling at Levi. It lifted Levi’s rather downcast mood in the slightest. This may not be as bad as he presumed it to be.

“Well Levi. I better be off. Perhaps I’ll see you later at Maria’s!” Eren said cheerily. Levi watched him as he quickly scurried away, lifting his hand into the air as one last goodbye. He rolled his eyes and made his way into the coffee shop, which seemed quite much like heaven as of the moment. He opened the door, making the little bell ring.

“Welcome! Can I-Levi!” the girl in the front desk came over, smiling. Levi smiled and pat her head. Of course, there were people that he met on his own new journey.

“Hey Itsume. Just came for some coffee,” Levi greeted her. Itsume smiled widely.

“Your usual?” she asked as she walked away, “And you on break? We’ve got some new books ya know.” Levi plopped down onto one of the chairs, letting out a breath of relief. He sighed, slowly letting the breath trickle out of his body, relaxing all his muscles. He let the warmth seep into his body, chasing away any of the chilliness he had left of his interaction with Eren and with the cold winter air itself. When a warm, caramel-like scent wafted in front of him, the steam wetting his eyebrows, he opened his eyes and saw Itsume standing there with a cup of coffee. She almost looked like an angel right at that moment, with his coffee, nice and warm. (Didn’t help that she had long, white hair either) She placed it on the table in front of him, the plate coming in contact with the glass table with a tap. Levi sat up and wrapped his hands around cup, savoring the warmth that toasted his hands. He lifted it up to his mouth, and blew on it softly before taking a sip. The creamy, warm taste burst in his mouth, almost like an explosion of senses. It tasted wonderfully, and the warmth that spread from his mouth to throughout his body reminded him how cold he really was. It almost sent shiver down his spine, the coffee spreading throughout his body like honey. Meanwhile, Itsume sat across from him, smiling.

He had known Itsume since he was in middle school, although, they didn’t even go to the same schools. He once visited Japan, and went to a school there for about 2 weeks. It was something completely foreign, the way they taught and the way they carried out their schedules. Levi felt like he was a little animal thrown into a pen of big ones. He felt so lost and so out of place, it almost scared him. After all, he was only in fifth grade. He felt this way until he met a small girl named Itsume, who had unusual white, sparkling hair and interesting golden eyes. He wasn’t sure of her at first, as she not only had an unusual hair color, but an eye color you didn’t usually find in humans. But she came up to him during lunch with two bento lunches and a book and sat right next to him. She shoved it towards him and had said, “You never eat. No wonder you’re so skinny.” And she didn’t say anymore, proceeding to eat hers and read at the same time. Levi had only stared at the lunch in astonishment. Levi remembered wondering why the girl had done it. She had told Levi it was because she had been watching him at lunch, and figured he needed a little help, considering he looked so lost among his fellow students, wondering why they didn’t eat lunch in a cafeteria. She struck that perfectly, causing Levi to take a liking to her. She was the first to not run away at his rather lost, yet cold and unapproachable vibes. That continued for a while, before they finally started talking personally. Mostly about books and their plots and stories.

The two became quite close, and when Levi had to move back to London, Itsume followed him there a year later, and they went to the same school up until high school. Itsume couldn’t afford to get into a private school like Levi was. In fact, she didn’t even finish her high school years. She had to drop out due to her mother’s sickness. No one was there to take care of her, as her father was dead, and they didn’t have enough money to contact a doctor to come and take care of her. On top of this, she had a baby sister that needed caring for. This, in a way, brought Levi closer to her, as he helped her with her younger sister, Nagisa. Soon, Itsume opened up a shop to earn money, and it certainly proved successful, as she now has her mom in a hospital where she is cared for. Hence, Little Brooks.

“Neh Itusme, you know those dreams I told you about?” Levi asked her absently. Yes, Itsume knew as well. He had told her about his dreams, about how they were memories. Of course, Itsume believed him. Levi recalled her exact words:

“Levi, I’m a white haired girl with golden eyes. You have to have a pretty strange situation for me NOT to believe it.”

Levi supposed this was true, and continued telling her about the dreams. To his upmost relief, she believed him each and every time. Itsume nodded.

“Yah. What about them? Did you have any new memories?” Itsume responded. Levi shook his head.

“No… But, I may have met another one of them today.”

“Really?! Who?”

“That boy.” Levi’s eyes were closed again, so he couldn’t see the big, wide grin on Itsume’s face.

“You met Eren?! What was he like? The same? Did he remember you?” Itsume bombarded him with questions. Levi winced and put a hand to his head.

“Slow it. Yes, it was Eren. He’s the same. And no… He doesn’t remember me,” Levi said the last part quietly, sipping his coffee again. Itsume’s eyes turned sympathetic.

“I’m sorry Levi… He’ll remember you some day, just have to help him out,” she responded softly. Levi didn’t mind her sympathy. Levi always hated being pitied on, and didn’t need there obvious answers such as, it will be ok, or, things will turn out, just you wait. They were needless and didn’t help his state at all. They were just simple lackadaisical ways to make him feel better. But Itsume knew that, and she knew what she needed to say, even if she felt sympathy all the same. Levi sighed.

“Help him? By what, shoving the memories into his face, tell him about all my dreams? Yah, I wouldn’t look absurd in the slightest,” Levi scoffed. Itsume chuckled.

“Maybe so, but he said he’s felt like he’s seen you before, right? Maybe he has those dreams too,” Itsume pointed out. Levi shrugged.

“Hanji said she felt like she has seen me before, and she doesn’t have the dreams.”

“Well, it’s worth a shot. Ask Eren what he thinks about reincarnation and past life and stuff like that first. But remember, you’ve gotta make sure you take things slow. If you want Eren to remember you,” Itsume got up at an incoming customer, “Just act yourself and try to love him all the same.” She walked away, smiling at the young man who walked in. He smiled in return, placed an order, and went off to explore the contents of Itsume’s library.

Levi stared at the brown contents of the cup, its smooth surface rippling as his breath came in contact with it. How could he possibly make Eren remember him, much less fall in love with him again? What if Eren was straight? What if he didn’t even have an interest in guys anymore? That thought made Levi feel sick to the stomach. If Eren no longer had an interest in men… What would he do? Even though Eren would be the closest he could ever get to Levi… If he being straight was the case, he’d be farther away than ever, and Levi would have to live with the ruptures in his heart for the rest of his life.

Levi scolded himself. He shouldn’t think like that. Letting his mind run through mazes of questions with no answers. It only made things worse for him. But the possibility of it was just too big to fly by. And Levi couldn’t help but let his mind wander in an infinite amount of directions, even if it meant coming into contact with negative thoughts. In the reality of it all, Levi tended to think of every possible thing that could go wrong. He wasn’t exactly the most positive thinker. His phone vibrating in his pockets snapped his mind back into the real world. He unlocked the phone and held it up to his ear, already knowing who it was.

“What Hanji?”

_“What the hell happened to you? You just hung up on me! Are you alright?”_

“I told you, I’m fine.”

_“I don’t know Levi, I don’t think you are…”_

“Did you just call me to lecture me on my well-being? If so, I’m just going to hang up.” Levi was irritated right now, with his mind running wild on the situation with Eren.

 _“Erwin wants everyone back at base, so ya might wanna hurry and finish that coffee in your hands.”_ Levi rolled his eyes.

“Whatever.” With that, Levi hung up and drank the last of his coffee. He was hoping for a proper break, but that proved unsuccessful. Itsume gave him one last smile as he walked out. Levi returned it with a wave and once he stepped back out into the freezing winter air, he instantly regretted it.


End file.
